Modern Day Passover Reflections

Two years ago today marks the day everything I knew changed. I am now in the middle of my own form of a "Passover," it started on Thursday and ends this coming Thursday officially. I forgot about it until I laid down to sleep on Thursday night and the Lord kindly reminded me. I have been trying to be intentional in these days to be reflective, because there is so much value in taking the time to really reflect. The Lord makes this clear throughout the Old Testament through the feasts and celebrations He calls Israel to observe in memory of who He is and what He has done.

For me though today... today, November 14th, was the day that the Father told me to come to Clemson. For those who don't know the whole story, it can be found here or feel free to ask me sometime. But in many ways it was the day that all of my theology changed and at the same time just collided into what it always was and was supposed to be. It marks the day when my faith looked like something. A defining moment as to whether or not I would move when He told me to and do whatever He asks of me. The day when my faith became something to walk in and not just stand in. It's in this reflection when I sit and wonder at all the Lord has done in my life in the last two years, simply because I said yes. It's a reflection that comes down to the heart of Isaiah 6:8. Of the season that led me to the point where I would say yes.

I love that reflection of the past brings hope for the future. Deuteronomy 8 reflects this:

¹ Be careful to follow every command I am giving you today, so that you may live and increase and may enter and possess the land the LORD promised on oath to your ancestors. ² Remember how the LORD your God led you all the way in the wilderness these forty years, to humble and test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands. ³ He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your ancestors had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD. ⁴ Your clothes did not wear out and your feet did not swell during these forty years. ⁵ Know then in your heart that as a man disciplines his son, so the LORD your God disciplines you. ⁶ Observe the commands of the LORD your God, walking in obedience to him and revering him. ⁷ For the LORD your God is bringing you into a good land—a land with brooks, streams, and deep springs gushing out into the valleys and hills; ⁸ a land with wheat and barley, vines and fig trees, pomegranates, olive oil and honey; ⁹ a land where bread will not be scarce and you will lack nothing; a land where the rocks are iron and you can dig copper out of the hills.

I love that in the memory is the promise - remember this because this is what the Lord is doing and what He has promised. I love that as the Lord lives outside of time, any "tense" of Him always points to and aligns with another tense. The "Lord of the past," or what He has done, points to Lord of the future and the Lord of the present. The "Lord of the present," or what He is doing, reflects both the Lord of the past and the future. The "Lord of the future," or what He will do and/or has planned, points to both the past and the present. So as I spend these days in reflection of what the Lord did in those 7 days two years ago and has done in the two years since then, it brings me joy in what He is doing today and brings me exuberant amounts of hope for what He has planned for me and what is to come in the future.

God Speaks in All Kinds of Ways

I love that the Father will speak to us however we will best receive something. As I was journaling last night, I prayed about assurance that nothing is impossible with God. I started to think, "If God is in the equation...." Then my math brain turned on, and suddenly I was thinking in equations. I thought of first God as variable "x." Which gives Him limitless possibilities. But then I considered, "What if the equation ended up over 0 because of whatever x equaled; then it would be undefiined" [EX: x+1/x-2 when x=2 the denominator equals 0 and it is undefined]. So I considered x/0 and its undefined state. He said, "Who says I'm defined?" What it came down to looks something like this:

 God doesn't equal x, but God = x/0. Which is undefined. Because it is undefined, we can never know what it is capable of. So in any equation where the Lord is involved, it is undefined by human standards. The possibilities and capabilities of the equations are beyond our understanding. Therefore, anything and everything is possible with that equation because we cannot say it is not. Luke 1:37 (NLT) - "For nothing is impossible with God."

Boom. God proved with math! And here's another scripture just to follow that up:

“God’s voice thunders in marvelous ways; he does great things beyond our understanding.”   Job 37:5 (NIV)

I know that many people don't like math and don't like to think in math, but I love that the Father will speak to each of us however we will hear best and find revelation. On the same subject-ish, the Father spoke to the other side of my brain in metaphor last spring. Or rather, He explained a metaphor to me. A metaphor I didn't see before. I was driving down the road considering different things and thought about science. Not science in terms of say, a chemistry class, but science as it has come to be a belief system and the sole explanation of the world. Often by both streams of thought, Christian and science, think about and call the other thought process "opposing." So that is what I was considering. I was thinking about how I haven't ever really seen them as opposing but as coordinating. That's when the Father gave me this nugget:

Science is a metaphor created by God so that we can better understand who He is and how He works. But because it is not the Real Thing, like all metaphors, eventually it breaks down and leaves us in want of more, in want of the Real Thing.

So science isn't here to mess us up; nor is it here to solve everything. It is here so that when we reach our ends with it and it can give us no explanation beyond what we know, we are left hungry (hungrier) for the Lord and Creator of everything who will never break down or leave us in want because He is wholly sufficient.

Well, there are my few cents for the morning. I love that He has given me a brain to hear from both sides and that He speaks to the side of the brain I need to hear from according to each situation or revelation. Gosh, He is good.

"Sing to God, you kingdoms of the earth,
   sing praise to the Lord,
to him who rides across the highest heavens, the ancient heavens,
   who thunders with mighty voice.
Proclaim the power of God,
   whose majesty is over Israel,
   whose power is in the heavens. 

You, God, are awesome in your sanctuary;
   the God of Israel gives power and strength to his people.

   Praise be to God!"

 ~ Psalm 68:32-35

You Know You're a Wordy Person When....

The grace of the Father is perfect and beautiful. He shows it and gives it everyday. He gives it not out of pity but compassion. He desires the plans for our life even more than we do, no matter how much we believe to desire them. He wants us to be more like how He created us each day, and He gives us grace to get there through the process we need to go through in order to be able to understand and handle what awaits us on the other side.

I purchased a book earlier this week called A User's Guide to Bible Translation by David Dewey. To be honest, it was an impulse purchase. I came acrossed it somehow and after reading the description, felt the language lover in me rise up to purchase it. It came in the mail today! Immediately, I began to skim over its contents and felt a joy swell up as I read how the book goes through explaining the process of translation and different measures used to translate. The second half of the book discusses the different English translations of the texts. Now for anyone who doesn't know me, the reason I am an English major is not out of a place of love for literature but because of my simple fascination with language - what it does, that it's possible, the meaning of words, how they came to mean what they mean, what they mean mean, the importance of good diction, the wonder of grammar and how it affects meaning, translation and what the truest form was before it was translated... all of that. I am just fascinated by it. And in that, I know I am wordy - get it, it's a pun on "nerdy." Okay, point proven. Anyways, needless to say I find excitement in getting to read this book in the coming weeks (I have school and other personal reads currently going on to fit this into). My appreciation for words and language can generally be reflected in my loquacious lifestyle.

But the Father has over the past year been teaching me the art of silence - how much it says and what it allows for. The verse that has continued to be one that causes me to sit and mull over is Exodus 14:13-14 (NASB):

"But Moses said to the people, "Do not fear! Stand by and see the salvation of the LORD which He will accomplish for you today; for the Egyptians whom you have seen today, you will never see them again forever. The LORD will fight for you will you keep silent." 

In time with Him, I often am reminded Psalm 46:10 "Be still and know that I am God." But when I walk in the world, I often feel that I need to fight and share what's on my mind. I did this a lot growing up. Probably too much. Between me, my brother and my sister, I was the vocal child. I was the child who talked everyone's ears off at dinner, but also the child who when my parents told me something I did not agree with or did something I perceived unfair, I fought back. They knew exactly what was on my mind and I fought to defend myself in the times when I felt like nobody was fighting for me or that I was in need of being fought for. It came to a point with my mom when after years of this mentality, my brother finally got through to me with the advice to just stay quiet, let whoever say what they are going to say and be done with it. It's not worth the time or energy. So I tried this; however, the pattern I had set in motion led to the following argument:

[I sit silently]
"What are you thinking?"
"Nothing."
"Yes you are. Tell me what you're thinking!"

When I realized that I was getting yelled at for not saying anything, I figured I might as well say what was on my mind; at least that way they would know what I was thinking and perhaps some of my logic would land with them. So I was back to being the vocal child.

As I have grown in intimacy with the Father, this mentality and course of action has greatly subsided to the point of being nil. I hate being in disagreements and with discord. I have given this old way to the Father. But as I have been renewed in this area, learning to just sit when the world is in chaos has been a journey. Not just, "Don't worry." But, "Be silent." It's learning to trust in a new and deeper way. It's coming to a place where before I even talk to somebody about a given situation the Lord has already taken care of it for me. At times, it is just seeing it in the small, medium and then big things. Most recently, it was perhaps medium sized, dealing with graduating on time.

 I registered for my final semester this week. Even with senior status, I still had to request two courses because of some ridiculousness in the English department. The professor who could override me into those courses is one of my professors this week and for the past two weeks, he has mentioned the craziness of his life in this advising and registering period. I debated going and talking to him or email him about needing to be put in the classes. I planned to wait until after class the following afternoon to talk to him when he might have an extra minute. Hours before class, though, I went onto the registration site and found that I had been pushed in to the course I needed, which had rarely if ever happened before without some form of correspondence with a professor. I didn't have to say a word. I only needed to be silent and the Lord went before me to get me into this final required course. After class, I did speak with the professor to thank him for putting me in the course, especially when I didn't even have to speak with him about it. He was blessed by some gratitude, which I would guess in the high stress of registration is not something he gets to see all that much.

It's in the little things that we can see the Father's grace shine through. Grace in teaching me what I can learn from silence: His faithfulness and provision, what He is saying in the midst of a loud world, how silence can change a fighting heart to a servant's heart, etc... I am so thankful for His grace with me during my years of being vocal. I am so thankful for His love and kindness that silenced and softened my heart to make it more loving and like His. I am also thankful that in and through silence, He has taught me my voice and how to use it. I am thankful that He affirms me when I doubt of the power of the voice He has gifted me with and its potential in Him. And all of this continues to baffle me with how there is language even in its absence.

New Season, New Blog, Same Purpose

Isaiah 6:8 -
"Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, 'Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?'
And I said, 'Here am I. Send me!'"

The Lord is so good. He is so faithful. And He has so much good for me to experience. He has recently brought me into a new season that has been a little bit like gold mining - sifting through parts of me and getting rid of the things that He does not have for me while at the same time finding true treasures of what He does have for me and how He sees me and who He has made me to be. So this blog is beginning as an honorary marker of this new season. The title of the blog is "Isaiah 6:8 Living," which has the same meaning and purpose as my old blog - going wherever the Lord sends me and doing whatever He has for me and loving everybody He puts me in contact with. I just desire to record who the Father is, what He is doing in my life, what He is doing in others' lives, what the Kingdom is, what love looks like, and share the amazing journey and life the Lord has for me, even in the times when I might not understand but know and do choose Him anyways. Or you know, a random thought or funny story in general. Just life in whatever form best fits the occasion.

So that's the dealio. Gosh, I love new seasons. In fact, season changes are always my favorite times of year. I don't know that I love just one season... well actually, I really do love fall a lot, but I LOVE when the season change comes. From the beauty of the colors of fall and the sweatshirt weather and football season to the first couple snowfalls of winter and the fires in fireplaces and hot chocolate and Christmas to the first budding leaves and blooming flowers of spring with the warmer breezes and sunny days and spring rains to the first warm day by or on some water (lake, pool, river, etc...) of summer and classes ending and outdoor adventures picking back up. I really love season changes and all the hope of the new and various things that those changes equate to. I love that the Father gave me a heart that loves change and does well with it. I love that He gave me a heart for season changes so that I don't scorn the change but embrace it for all that it means. And I have a feeling that this season I am beginning to walk into is just going to be ridiculously amazing. So huzzah for the fall to holiday season commencing! Hooray for jeans and sweatshirt weather! Holy moley for just registering for my final semester of college! And hallelujah that all of this is in the Lord's hands and time! Until I have a moment to share some more good stuff of what Papa is up to (because He definitely is up to some things), be blessed; walk in His peace; and dream wildly with Him.

Peace and grace,

Chels